image-8825.jpg

Useful phrases for work and everyday life – World

work hard

  • Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  • I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  • I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
  • I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  • I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
  • I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  • Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  • My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
  • It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
  • At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
image-1259.jpg

Funny nonsense quotes and sayings – Epic Fail

nonsense

  1. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
  2. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where is the ceiling?!”
  3. Just because you’re smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
  4. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
  5. Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
  6. Time is Nature’s way of making sure that everything doesn’t happen at once.
  7. If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  8. The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
  9. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. This is great info!
  10. I get plenty of exercise — jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
  11. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  12. The Truth is Out There. So what are you doing here?!
  13. I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
  14. I don’t suffer from stress. I’m a carrier.
  15. There are two rules for ultimate success in life. (1) Never tell everything you know.
  16. Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re NOT out to get you…
  17. When I get to where I’m going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
  18. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
  19. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  21. Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
image-8822.jpg

Marriage is a life sentence – Marriage Quotes – World

wedding

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of “rings”:
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring